


Sweet Dreams!

by maximum_overboner



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Dark Comedy, M/M, Praise Kink, completely ridiculous, desperately..... desperately embarrassing, heavy on the secondhand cringe, i'm gunning for original flavour despite the subject matter if you can believe it, one sided paperhat, wet dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 18:17:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19382125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maximum_overboner/pseuds/maximum_overboner
Summary: Flug, more than anything in the world, just wants to be acknowledged. He hopes for it, prays for it. Dreams about it. Excessively.Flug's dream from the pilot taken to its natural conclusion.





	Sweet Dreams!

**Author's Note:**

> i conducted a poll on my twitter/tumblr! i had a few loose ends, so i let people vote on what fic i do next. the answer involved the phrase 'flug's sad balls'. i hope you enjoy flug's sad balls!

“Admit it, Flug. You’re a failure. You should be called Doctor Fail.”

Flug hacked and coughed. The town lay in ruin, blanketed by a sickly light. The world was desaturated, save for the awful, stupid man in front of him. No! No, men were smart, men had brains and used them and were scientists everyone loved! This thing! This awful, boasting, pompous... Thing!

“No matter how hard you try—”

Flug called on his scathing wit, readying his gun. “Silence, you... Fool!”

He shot. The light, and the thing, fell away. Flug wiped his brow, glad nobody was around to hear him say that. The ground warped, the shadows in it twisted and pulled and cast into something he recognized. Black Hat, twenty foot tall and looming like a tent-spike over a beetle. His voice was rough and inharmonious. “Well, well, well. You did an exceptionally...”

He cocked his head with a smile, a small one that showed the tips of his teeth, not the snarl he was so fond of. Flug braced himself, covering his head.

“Good job, doctor.”

Flug peered up at him, dazzled. Tears sprung to his eyes. “Sir, I... I don’t— I don’t know what to say. Thank you. I—”

“And one more thing...”

Black Hat leaned down, his long body clicking and shifting like a centipede, breaking in parts. He skittered to Flug, a white-hot glint to his eye.

“... Have you been working out?”

Flug puffed out his chest. He played humble. “Running in terror is really good exercise, sir, and I do it every day.”

Black Hat gave him a coy little flap of the abominable claw. “It shows, it really shows. May I?”

“Of course.”

Black Hat raised a long, bony claw. He brought his sharp fingers to Flug’s bicep, pinching gently. “Very impressive. You’re building quite a beach body.”

“Oh,” Flug laughed, flushing, “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“It’s a shame about the knot,” Black Hat purred. “You seem so stressed. So tense.” Black Hat slithered over a particularly large chunk of rubble. Flug heard muffled screaming from within it. “But it’s understandable. You’ve had a long, hard day.”

Flug scratched his neck. “Well, the island is in ruin, everything I know is gone and my only son is dead...”

“Would you like a massage?”

“Really? Yes!”

Black Hat moved, like oil in water, across the ground, coming to a stop at Flug’s back. His breath was cold and dewy on Flug’s neck. “Sir—”

“Don’t worry about modesty,” Black Hat said, rubbing Flug’s shoulders. “Everyone on the island is dead.”

“Oh, that’s good. What are you—?”

Black Hat grabbed Flug’s shoulders with a pair of squirming tendrils and kicked at Flug’s spine, jerking him forward with a nasty crack. Flug yelped, then melted, as a pain he didn’t know he had eroded to nothing. Black Hat let him go, delicately probing the spot over his shirt. Flug’s eyes rolled and he caught himself drooling, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “Oh God,” he moaned. “Sorry, sorry, that’s— I didn’t mean to do that. Sorry.”

“Nonsense,” Black Hat chirped, “it’s a sign you’re enjoying yourself. Really. Don’t be self-conscious, it’s a natural response to pleasurable stimuli.”

Flug shifted on his feet, adjusting his waistband. “Y-Yeah. How are you so good at this?”

“I’m dexterous enough to pluck out individual nerves in a way that will inflict incredible torment and excruciating death. Pushing muscle is child’s play. Why, Dr Flug, you’re so tense.”

“Sorry,” Flug said, “It’s the ‘incredible torment’ part, sorry, it’s— it’s hard not to worry.”

“I could never do that to you. You’re too vital to my operations.”

“Vital?”

“Vital.”

Flug shivered. Black Hat came upon another knot and unpicked it easily with his claws. Flug moaned again. Black Hat tutted. “You’re a man with a lot of kinks.”

“Oh,” Flug said, dreamily, “I’m glad you’re here to help.”

Black Hat pressed firmly at a tight bundle on Flug’s scapula, pushing until it released. “Quite the knot, too.”

“I’m used to those.”

“Good to know. Why don’t you relax? Take a load off. My treat.”

“Thank you, master.”

“Oh, please. We’ve known each other long enough. Call me Black Hat. Ah, but—”

He slithered forward and gently flicked Flug’s nose over the bag. The air stank of soot and death.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Black Hat chuckled. “I can’t have that getting out. They’ll say I’m going soft in my old age.”

Flug lit up. “Is this... Some kind of embarrassing secret I can use against you at any time to further my own goals?”

“That’s a strange thing to say in response to an act of affection but yes, Dr Flug, I suppose it is.”

“Wow! Would you cry?”

“I think I would.”

“... Would you cry for days? In front of everyone? Would you bawl?”

“Well,” Black Hat declared, with a little gesture of the hand, “I’d sob for weeks! And I’m starting to think you have some very, very deep-seated issues!” Black Hat produced a cute pink box from behind his back, wrapped in a pretty bow. “Care for chocolate?”

Flug gladly took it. “Yes! Oh my God, yes, is— is this from that place downtown? That does those coconut puffs?”

“The very same. I got you a boxful. I know that they’re your favourite confection because I’m secretly a creature capable of care. You are not desperately, tragically alone. You are not projecting. You are a smart man, worthy of love. I am very proud of you.”

“I always knew it,” Flug cried out, “I knew it all along!”

“We all knew it, Flug. We all knew how valued, how special, you are. All except that teacher in high school who said you would never amount to anything. I’m sure he would be so ashamed if he could see you now.”

“Yeah,” Flug said. “Yeah, that would be pretty funny.”

Black Hat conjured a puff of black smoke. He slithered into it and emerged, looking as he normally did. Sharp, tall and cunning. “Who’s that over there?”

Flug followed Black Hat’s gaze. A confused, middle-aged man stumbled among the blood and rubble. Flug shook his head, incredulous. “Mr Cooper?”

He squinted back. “What the hell— who are you people? Oh shit, oh, fuck!”

“I, Flug,” Black Hat proclaimed, “am about to give you the chance of a lifetime! Make love to me! Make love to me in front of this balding, terrified man! Grease up every hole I have, even the mystery ones, and take me! Here and now! Take me, Flug, make me yours!”

Black Hat summoned his claws with a metallic scrape. He dragged his hands down Flug’s shirt, tearing it to shreds, finally cutting it off and throwing it aside to reveal Flug’s rippling, oiled physique.

“Ooh!” Flug tittered.

Black Hat tossed aside his dark coat and tore his own shirt off. He also had rippling muscles, but if Flug had to put a number to it they were around three per cent less impressive than Flug’s. Still, they were fine. They would do. They threw themselves at one another and began to make wild, sweaty love on the asphalt. Black Hat panted at his ear. “Flug!”

_“Oh, God, Black Hat!”_

Black Hat groped at him, pushing, tugging, writhing, “Flug, Flug!”

_“Black Hat, oh God, I’m going to c—!”_

_“Dr Flug!”_

Flug jolted awake in his chair. Black Hat had his hands braced to the armrests, his face inches away from Flug’s, his breath reeking of spoiled meat and rot. His voice was gravel down Flug’s shirt. “Tired, are we?”

Oh no. Oh no, no, no. No, no, no, no. He could feel it on his jeans. Oh no, no, oh no.

“No, sir,” Flug replied, fighting for composure, “not at all, sir.”

“Hm. Good. I suppose you don’t mind repeating what I just said, then?”

“I— uh, I— you—”

“Disgusting little man. If you ever fall asleep in my company again I’ll do a lot worse than yell at you.” His voice took on a flanged, two-toned quality. “Do I make myself clear, Dr Flug? Does your meagre intellect stretch that far?”

Hide the evidence, shuffle out, take a quick shower, resume the day. Flug could still get away with this. It’s what he told himself, over and over. Hide, leave, shower, resume, he could cry later, he could cry later for as long as he wanted, big, luxurious sorts of sobs. “Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. It won’t happen again, sir.”

“God help you if it does.”

Black Hat pushed back off the chair, surveying Flug with a contemptuous grimace. Flug suppressed a sigh. The patch was on the left side, so if he casually removed his coat— no, that was too relaxed— if he angled his coat that way— no, too conspicuous, then—

Black Hat took his place at the window, looking out. “As I was saying,” he muttered, “profits are up this quarter. I’m thinking we cut our marketing budget and reinvest in...”

Black Hat paused. He turned to Flug, flicking his tongue and narrowing his eyes.

“Do you smell that?”

Oh no.

“Smell what, sir? And no. No, I don’t, I don’t smell anything.”

Black Hat glanced at the wooden floors, thrumming his tongue at the air. “... Bleach? Has that bear been cleaning in here? If he’s put bleach on my floor I’ll gut him.”

“Yes,” Flug said, spying an out. “Wait, wait, no. No, it— it’s not—”

Black Hat drew closer, tasting the air. “Chlorine? Were you in the lab before this? You reek of it.”

No, no, no, no.

“Yes,” Flug blurted. “That’s it. That’s why— I— I was in the— the— I am a scientist. I am a scientist in my lab.”

“Hm. Well, clean up properly next time. I have to sit in here all day. It’s rude to track things like that, you know what my nose is like. You’re shaking.”

“Am I?” Flug stuttered. “No, no, I don’t think I am.”

“You are. I’m looking at you. You’re shaking.”

“No, sir, I’m not, don’t worry, I’m— it’s— are you sure?”

Black Hat raised a brow. “Am I ‘sure’? Yes, Dr Flug, I’m sure.”

“You’re half-blind, maybe you’re seeing things.”

Black Hat reeled. His voice took on that quality again as if he was speaking twice. “Excuse me?”

“Sorry, that— I’m—”

“Your coat.”

“What?”

“You’re hiding something, move your coat. Let me see.”

“No.”

Black Hat cleared the space between them in seconds, yanking Flug up by the collar. “What do you mean, no?”

“N... No?”

“Are you stupid? High? Do as I command.”

“It’s best if... If I don’t, sir. Master lord sir. No.”

“Flug,” he glowered, “If you don’t adjust your attitude I am going to bend you over, stitch your anus to your mouth, fetch my pointiest stick and roll you down the street like an urchin playing with a hoop.”

“Please, not again!”

“Your coat, Flug.”

“No!”

Black Hat yanked it back, like a matador. He looked like he was going to shout, but forgot. He gawped. He made eye contact with Flug, briefly, then went back to gawping.

“Ah,” Black Hat said, simply. He put the coat back, holding it between two claws to minimise the surface he touched. “I see. I see.”

Flug covered his eyes. It took all his self-control not to bawl.

“Well, good news,” Black Hat spat. “You’ve just solved the greatest mythological quandary of our time; God is real because this is a divine punishment for my evil ways. Good job.”

Flug gripped Black Hat’s shoulders tightly, his legs shuddering and a shaky moan escaping his lips. The wet patch grew. Black Hat was too stunned for any snide remark, too stupefied to launch into apoplectic anger. He stuttered. “W-What?”

Flug slumped. His dignity gone, his need for death growing.

“Wh... What? Why did you let me see that? Why did you let me see your shame? Why did you let me see that?”

“I tried to stop you,” Flug cried. “I tried to stop you, sir.”

“Try harder next time! Oh, good grief, I’m going to retch." He shoved Flug back, sending him careening. "Shoo, step back, shoo!”

“I can clean the chair. I can—”

“Don’t bother.”

Black Hat clicked his fingers. The chair was reduced to ash.

“There was no saving it. I’m aware that you’re beyond stupid, but even you should know that I expect seminal work, not seminal... Fluids.”

“G-Good one, sir.”

“I’m not joking. Don’t you dare laugh.”

“I’m not, sir. Sorry.”

“Oh, am I not funny enough for you now? Is that it? Clean yourself up and don’t you dare look me in the eye for as long as you live or I’ll turn your life into an unceasing nightmare. Repugnant little creature. Get out of my office.”

Flug wiped his eyes, shuffling out. "I think I’m already in one,” he sniffled.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i would say i'm sorry but we both know i wouldn't mean it


End file.
